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Stupid stuff drivers do
Dumb stunts on the road

Want to drive other folks on the road crazy? Induce road rage in your fellow divers? When I was a kid I took driver's ed. When I got a lot of tickets for speeding, I was re-educated. I drive a lot, and try to be considerate of other people on the road. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one though! I figured these folks had different driver's ed courses. Here's what they seem to have been taught:

When Turning at an Intersection

If you're turning right on to a 4 or more lane road, turn into the far left lane. Likewise when you turn left, veer over into the far right hand lane. This way you "own" the road, and anyone who would otherwise pass you while you creep up to speed will be cut off and have to slam on their brakes. Take your time getting up to speed. Remember: the key to aggravating driving is making the other guy wait on you.

Turning Into a Driveway

First, signal your turn in advance. 1 to 5 miles before your turn is optimal. It's also important that you only have a vague idea of where your turn is. Slow down way below the speed limit, but stay off your brake pedal if possible. The trick is to be going slow, but not let people behind you realize it. Make your turn at a little above walking speed. Even a rough driveway can be crossed at this speed without jostling your passengers or cargo, or spilling your coffee, coke, taco, or having to put down your cell phone. THEN YOU SHOULD STOP! That's right, when you are about 2/3 of the way through your turn, you should come to a complete stop. Leave at least 1/2 of your car blocking the road you are turning off of. Take your time. Check things out. Then proceed into the driveway, completing your turn. A driver who was far behind you when you started the turn, who thinks SURELY you will be well off the road by the time he gets to you, will then get an opportunity to test his braking and avoidance skills.

Important Legal Note

Many of these driving tips might result in someone plowing into the back of your car. Don't worry! Unless you're completely stopped improperly in the road, if someone hits you from the rear, IT'S THEIR FAULT! It doesn't matter how stupidly you changed lanes, or turned in front of them. Of course you MIGHT get hurt, but then just call one of those guys on the back of the phonebook. You can retire!

Interstate Driving

BE THE KEEPER OF THE SPEED LIMIT!!!
Just get beside a big rig or even another car that's doing 65 to 70 MPH. Stay just behind, or just in front of them. Occasionally, pass them, but not by enough for anyone else to get around. Then slow down a little and let them pass you. So much fun to see all the cars piling up behind you! Think of how much safer yo are making the road, by FORCING everyone to do just under the speed limit!

High Beams

Just keep your high beams on all the time, especially when you follow someone.



Auto, Car, and Truck Article List

A
ABS: Anti-Lock Brake Systems
ADVANCE: Car ignition timing
ALTERNATORS and Car Battery
AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSIONS
B
BAD CAR DESIGNS
Bad Drivers: How NOT to drive
BATTERIES: Auto, Car or Truck
BELTS AND HOSES
BEARINGS
BODY AND BUMPER REPAIRS
BRAKE REPAIRS: Car or Truck
C
Car Washing and Care
CARBURETORS:Car & Truck
CHECK ENGINE LIGHT
CLEANING: Engine Cleaning
CLUTCH REPAIRS: Car & Truck
COMPRESSION: Car Engine
COMPUTER CAR CONTROLS
CV JOINT OR CV AXLES
D
DISTRIBUTORS (IGNITION)
E
ELECTRIC WIRING REPAIR
ENGINES: Car & Truck
ENGINE CLEANING
EXPANSION PLUGS
F
FILTERS: OIL, AIR, ETC.
FREEZE PLUGS
FUEL AIR MIXTURE
FUEL INJECTION: Car & Truck
FUEL PUMPS: Car & Truck
G
GAGES AND "IDIOT LIGHTS"
GASKETS AND SEALS
GLASS: WINDOWS AND WINDSHIELDS
H
HEADS & HEAD GASKET
HOSES AND BELTS
I
"IDIOT LIGHTS" AND GAGES
IGNITION TIMING: Car & Truck
J
AUTO JACKS: lifting cars safely
K
L
LEAN "Car runs lean"
LIGHTS: WARNING OR "IDIOT LIGHTS"
Limp Home Mode
M
MIL Light
MANUAL TRANSMISSIONS
N
NO START: Car Won't Start
O
OIL CHANGES
OIL: What's right for your car?
OIL LIGHT ON OR GAGE LOW
P
PCV Valve
Q
R
RADIATORS: Car and Truck
RICH: Car runs rich
S
SEALS AND GASKETS
SERVICE ENGINE SOON LIGHT
SPARK PLUGS
STARTERS: Auto, Truck
T
THERMOSTATS
TIMING: IGNITION TIMING
TIMING BELT & TIMING CHAIN
TIRE REPAIR
TRANSMISSIONS: AUTOMATIC
TRANSMISSIONS: MANUAL
U
V
VACUUM ADVANCE
WARNING LIGHTS OR "IDIOT LIGHTS"
Car Washing and Care
W
WATER PUMP REPAIR
WINDOWS AND WINDSHIELDS
WIRING REPAIR
X
Y
Z

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