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Want to drive other folks on the road crazy? Induce road rage in your fellow divers? When I was a kid I took driver's ed. When I got a lot of tickets for speeding, I was re-educated. I drive a lot, and try to be considerate of other people on the road. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one though! I figured these folks had different driver's ed courses. Here's what they seem to have been taught:
Just get beside a big rig or even another car that's doing 65 to 70 MPH. Stay just behind, or just in front of them. Occasionally, pass them, but not by enough for anyone else to get around. Then slow down a little and let them pass you. So much fun to see all the cars piling up behind you! Think of how much safer yo are making the road, by FORCING everyone to do just under the speed limit!
When Turning at an Intersection
If you're turning right on to a 4 or more lane road, turn into the far left lane. Likewise when you turn left, veer over into the far right hand lane. This way you "own" the road, and anyone who would otherwise pass you while you creep up to speed will be cut off and have to slam on their brakes. Take your time getting up to speed. Remember: the key to aggravating driving is making the other guy wait on you.
Turning Into a Driveway
First, signal your turn in advance. 1 to 5 miles before your turn is optimal. It's also important that you only have a vague idea of where your turn is. Slow down way below the speed limit, but stay off your brake pedal if possible. The trick is to be going slow, but not let people behind you realize it. Make your turn at a little above walking speed. Even a rough driveway can be crossed at this speed without jostling your passengers or cargo, or spilling your coffee, coke, taco, or having to put down your cell phone. THEN YOU SHOULD STOP! That's right, when you are about 2/3 of the way through your turn, you should come to a complete stop. Leave at least 1/2 of your car blocking the road you are turning off of. Take your time. Check things out. Then proceed into the driveway, completing your turn. A driver who was far behind you when you started the turn, who thinks SURELY you will be well off the road by the time he gets to you, will then get an opportunity to test his braking and avoidance skills.
Important Legal Note
Many of these driving tips might result in someone plowing into the back of your car. Don't worry! Unless you're completely stopped improperly in the road, if someone hits you from the rear, IT'S THEIR FAULT! It doesn't matter how stupidly you changed lanes, or turned in front of them. Of course you MIGHT get hurt, but then just call one of those guys on the back of the phonebook. You can retire!
Interstate Driving
BE THE KEEPER OF THE SPEED LIMIT!!!
High Beams
Just keep your high beams on all the time, especially when you follow someone.